It was perfect....
Its the sort of evening you dream about. There is a light snow falling... the temperature just around -5. The glow of the streetlamps creates a candlelight-like aura. The snow crunches underneath me, but I barely hear it under my breath. My legs feel pretty good - although my heavy breathing lets me know my cardio is suffering. I really had to get out of the house - one of those times where you need something to feel alive again. I hadn't gone for a run in a long time... but here I am.
It feels good to push myself. I pass by many shovelling their driveways, who momentarily gawk at me as if enjoying a winter run was a thing unfathomable. Its here, while I am pounding away on the concrete or the pedals of my bike that I feel so free. What pulls at my heart is the purity of intention - when one sets his simple and humble goal of getting from point A to B. Theres no pretense, no alterior motives, just you, your destination, and the kilometers of ground between. Its such a refreshing contrast from the complications of life.
There's a stillness about the streets... as you run down a street and just see the freshly fallen snow, the darkskies and streetlamps... I am loving it. Suddenly my body wants to stop. Without a fight I start to walk, my lungs gasping. "Am I quitting already?" I glance at my watch... 10 minutes. A far cry from the hour run I did a couple months ago. Again the battle seems before me... I could quit. No one would care, no one would see. It seems such a glorious microcosm of my life... the battle is here and now. I want to push on... after this short contemplation I get myself into a jog again and push on. As I get going again, I start to ask "What am I trying to prove anyway? Why am I here?". It feels good to push the questions out of my mind for a moment and just keep pounding away... The journey from point A to B doesn't require my incessant analysis, and I am glad for that.
I reach about 17 minutes, and somewhat more satisfied I start my cool down walk... I had wasted my entire day so far but it is good to exert myself. The runner's high hits a few seconds into my walk... the adrenaline and endorphines rushing up from inside. Its nice, I feel alive again. 17 minutes... all I need to do is triple my time/distance, and do a 1.5km swim and 40km bike beforehand... "triathlon in summer 2007" I tell myself wistfully, but shake my head.
If only life were as simple as tonight's run, or my frequent bike rides when I push and push myself with a single goal in mind. Tonight was nice... "perfect" I tell myself... well "almost perfect" quickly correcting myself. It was a quick 20 minutes, but it was just what I needed. Upon touching the doorknob of my house I am immediately jolted back to the real world. "Oh I gotta be at work in 20 minutes" I think as I hurry in and close the door.
