Thursday, May 25, 2006

On Accomplishment

A great excerpt from a book I'm currently reading that I think is worth sharing. Its talks about different phases of leadership development, but you don't need to know the phases to grasp the core of what Clinton is saying here:


The amazing thing is that during Phases I, II and III God is primarily working in the leader (not through him or her). Though there may be fruitfulness in ministry, the major work is that which God is doing to and in the leader, not through him or her. Most emerging leaders don't recognize this. They evaluate productivity, activites, fruitfulness, etc. But God is quietly, often in unusual ways, trying to get the leader to see that one ministers out of what one is. God is concerned with what we are. We want to learn a thousand things because there is so much to learn and do. But he will teach us one thing, perhaps in a thousand ways: "I am forming Christ in you." It is this that will give power to your ministry.

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Could be

It was the frequent theme of all my parent teacher interviews. "Could be" - specifically "could be doing better". I suppose each teacher felt it was the right thing to say, but all of them together created a sort of cloud above my head - "I could be, but I wasn't".

I've been having a terrible time trying to do my research papers here. All the struggles and personal torment I encountered during university all have come back.

Its not that I can't apply myself - I think I apply myself wholeheartedly (indeed 一心). Those who knew me better would know that I perhaps overpassionately get into whatever subject/topic that holds my fancy. What I can't seem to do is apply myself wholeheartedly to a specific given task.

The current paper I'm working on (or I should say not working on) could really be done in a matter of hours. I don't find anything particularly hard about the subject matter or creating an outline or anything - but I can't seem to do it. I am however, doing a bunch of other productive things (with noticable vigor) - just not things productive to the task at hand: my overdue paper.

Its a funny thing to struggle with one's personal demons of the past. I've never really been able to put my mind to my studies, or when I took piano lessons. I could have short bursts under pressure (otherwise known as cramming), but the sustained work ethic just never developed. Many tasks - of which I had the potential to complete well - were never completed or else completed poorly. It is a very frustrating, discouraging thing.

I think for a long time I just felt like something was wrong with me - I couldn't 'work' like how others worked. I'm starting to accept the fact that I do work and think very differently from most people. I still need to learn how to apply myself to something like a paper - something requiring long-term, systematic work ethic.

Here's to learning hard lessons about oneself.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Pursue your goals

A human being's highest achievement is
to let God be able to help him.


(Søren Kierkegaard)

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Ideas

Been thinking about ideas, and how good it is to always be exposed to new perspectives, thoughts, ideas, etc. Last night had dinner with a Canadian IVCF worker who's been visiting Central Asia regularly, an Uzbek medical student studying theology at the Schloss, a Russian speaking Ukranian theological student, and a British medical student currently working for the Christian Dental and Medical Fellowship. Its so enriching to encounter different ideas, perspectives, cultures, etc.

It reminds me you of the bigger picture. Let me give you an example - in Canada you don't ride with strangers and you always buckle your seatbelt. Well in Uzbekistan it is quite the opposite - in Uzbekistan any car is a potential taxi. That is, if you need to get anywhere you just flag down any car, and see if they'll take you were you need to go. Everyone does it, its not an especial source of crime, although one always needs to exercise common sense. There's a convention of how much they charge and how much you pay, but they'll take you were you need to go. A few do this full time, but for the most part, most are just ordinary people. The idea being if someone is going where you're going anyway, you can help each other out. Oh, and its illegal to wear a seatbelt in the rear seats.

On that note, a couple other interesting ideas and perspectives I came across today:

-Video of King of the Hill's take on megachurches

-A great article by the author of InternetMonk.com titled "Wretched Urgency" tackling the question - is Christianity about converting people?

Ideas are powerful things. What we think matters.

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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Empty chairs and empty tables

I'm looking at my passport... my D visa for Austria expires on July 23rd. I've looked into the different possibilities, and the only way for me to stay longer would be to apply for a student visa, a lengthy and complicated process.

The Schloss has gone through its share of legal difficulties, mainly being that the Schloss (classified as a hotel in the Austrian government's books) cannot have people volunteering there for free (apparently smells too much like slavery without income tax). As of right now, all the volunteers have ceased cleaning/dishes or anything involving serving paying guests. Those who are from the new EU countries were able to become employed. Austrian law just doesn't allow for volunteering in the same way so many other countries do.

It is a sad change for the Schloss - the volunteers contributed so much to the ethos of the place - people from around the world coming to volunteer and create this international community. For now however - this volunteer program is over. Most of the volunteers have had to change their plans and are returning home sooner. Just a couple days ago a good friend left, and now the flood of people leaving begins.

It is fortunate, and perhaps God's providence, that my responsibilities are not affected. This is because my responsibilities involve serving the community and staff, not paying guests. In some strange way, I already am, and will be the last 'volunteer' for some time to come.

I am not sure what to do, if I should pursue a student visa and stay longer, or else return home in late July, a mere 2.5 months away. I do know that within a month, there will be a lot of empty chairs and empty tables.

Saying so many goodbyes here is hard - there are many that could have become very good close friends, if we had but more time. Still we can enjoy the time we do have together, late night theological discussions, napping on the hill in the afternoon sun, or lazy frisbee days...

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Reflections after a Short Term Missions Trip

(Our team with the IFES workers in Sienna, Italy)
Got some of my pictures from my trip to Italy up now:

   Check em out on FlickR

Thought I'd share some reflections after the trip:

Synposis:
We visited two cities (Siena and Perugia) and worked with the local IFES (International Fellowship of Evangelical Students) chapter there, known as GBU (Gruppi Bibblici Universitari). We helped with doing questionnaires to evangelise, gave handouts to let people know about the group, and hosted 2 International Student nights, with games/food/testimony. We were also there to encourage and bless the workers there, so time was spent to pray and Bible study together. We spent 6 days in these 2 cities, and then took a day and a half to sightsee and we went to Assisi (home of St. Francis) and Florence (went to the Uffizi there).

Setting:
As we know, Italy is the home of the Vatican, so there is an extremely strong Catholic ethos about the society. There's cathedrals all over the place, and often even in the main city piazza where everyone hangs out. The Protestant evangelical church however is quite weak, and also quite divided. There is no longer a native Italian financial support for IFES. What is happening now is that other countries are supporting people as missionaries to work in Italy. The team working in Siena and Perugia were made up of a Korean family, and two gals from England and the States. Almost all the native Italians I met had some experience with the Catholic church when they were young, but all stopped going for some reason or another. Italy also has a lot of foreign students, our International Student Night in Perugia included students form Isreal, Palestine, Tunisia, Japan, Korea, China, Netherlands, Albania, and others I can no longer remember.

1. Who's changed?
For a short term mission, I think it started to sink in that the one who is mosted change would likely be me, not the people I was reaching out to. Short term missions don't allow much time for creating real relationships. Rather I think how I was stretched in terms of culture, comfort zone, boldness, etc. That is not to say that I don't think God could use the things we did there, but really I think a large part of the experience was how it changed me, us as a team that went.

2. Linguistics
Language matters. It was a struggle for us as a lot of the people we encountered spoke very limited English, or didn't want to make the effort to try to communicate with us. Fortunately we were able to get in touch with a good number of internationals who spoke english. I am motivated again, if I want to work more in the Chinese church in Canada, I gotta get a move on learning Cantonese, and hopefully down the road, Mandarin (with this as my main help right now). So ditiching German lessons to accomodate this.

3. Approaches to Evangelism
We quickly realized we were all comfortable (or uncomfortable) with different styles of evangelism. The native Italians there were very much into random evangelism, very public things such as setting up in the main piazza (with dozens of people around), doing a skit, and then preaching the gospel right then and there, as far as their voice would project. It would seem that relational evangelism is the current trend in North America, so it was good for me to see something different. It was stretching for me, I kinda think I could get comfortable with being willing to go up to strangers - hmm but "could" and "will" are 2 very different things.

4. Heart for the Lost
Its too easy to totally immerse oneself in Christian circles. I consider myself guilty of this.

5. Hospitality
Finding places for 9 people to sleep is not easy. It was so heartwarming to see the Christians simply open their homes and fridges to us. I don't think we do hospitality particularly well in North America. I'd love to offer my couch my day (when I have my own place). Its neat to see other people with grand visions of hospitality (check out couchsurfing.com)

6. Time Alone
Spending a week of constantly being shoulder to shoulder with your teammates, whilst stretching yourself to talk and interact with strangers takes it toll - my introverted side was starved by the end of it of the week. I pretty much didn't want to be around anyone. Heh, funny thing is some suggest for my personality type (INTP), one way to love me is to encourage me to spend time alone. Its important, and it keeps me healthy.

Final Thoughts:
-Short term missions are very good in expanding one's vision, but I think the better work is done by those there longterm. Similiarly then we need to understand our homes as a mission field. But then on, perhaps we shouldn't label a place as a "mission field", everywhere is a mission field.
-The countryside of Italy with its rolling hills is really beautiful. Vineyards, olive trees, quiet homes, trees blossoming... it was really beautiful.
-I've been reminded of the Great Commission, I think I've become too Christianized in terms of living almost solely in Christian circles, I'm convicted to find a balance of knowing what it means to live within and bless believers, yet to be reaching out to those who do not yet know God.

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