Where I begin

Its sort of like being beat up. Well sort of anyway. You feel a bit spacey, and there's some difficulty in focusing that can be accompanied by head throbbing. Not to mention the temperamental effects including impaired patience, mild unhappiness, loss of judgement, and just feeling plain drained. Its not a great state to be in. This is the world of sleep deprivation. Its a good reminder to know that sleep deprivation is used in torture. Suddenly the stupidity of self inflicted sleep deprivation grows in magnitude. There's something to be learned here...

Reflecting on this has reminded me of the clear depravity and brokenness of man. I constantly mess things up. I rarely know what's best for me, and even when I do, I have an uncanny history of choosing otherwise (sleep deprivation). This goes across the board though, don't forget that we're a species that lets 40,000 children starve every day, kills millions in wars, and causes countless broken relationships and families.

This is where life's biggest questions and conflicts begin: understanding there is something very wrong with us. This is why my faith (Christianity) is so mind-blowingly relevant to me. It meets me where I am: one who is hopelessly depraved and broken. Our attitude upon recognizing this should be one of humility. Its very easy for Christians (well anyone) to become proud and cocky. I think this is only possible when we forget our place. We are not in a place of strength of power, but of weakness and need. This is the most fundamental of truths in what it means to be a Christian. For it was in that place of weakness and need that God met us, it is where God saved us. Our humble recognition of that is where we need to begin, day after day.

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of grace
Is where my song begins (Economy of Mercy - Switchfoot)