Lest we forget...

The topic on my mind has been history, looking specifically at the instance of World War II, but really history in general.

Life is a story. History an even bigger story. If you want to understand me, you need to understand my story. Why am I so afraid of being embarrassed? Know my story and know the answer. And if I want to know myself better, my parents, my upbringing, then there's some stories I need to know too.

Want to know some of the most important lessons about life and who we are as humans beings? Know the story and know the answer.

For Christians so much of our understanding of God through history in the OT and NT is about understanding story. Not just that X and Y happened - you need to read into a story to understand the characters and were the story is going.

Upon completing a history course here, after visiting an actual WWII concentration camp, reflecting on my complete lack of knowledge of my family background - I have really been deeply changed. History - the big story - is something to be learned, loved, learned from, and what helps us write the next page of the story.

Consider WWII - I think most of us born after WWII simply cannot understand it. How could such a thing happen? Estimates for total casualties lies between 50 and 60 million. The number is really too hard to understand. Try doubling Canada's population and then killing everyone. Still the question begs, how did it happen?

As with most stories, nothing is a complete surprise. Take centuries of antisemitism, add economic anxiety, nations scared of war because of WWI, add some propaganda, some extremist beliefs and rulers, and there it came. Accepting that WWII happened as a progression of events and decisions makes it worse - because good people (and I think Christians as well) could have acted in ways to prevent the horrors that unfolded.

Those involved in atrocities - many of the soldiers from different nations - were they just incredibly evil people? Again I don't think so - the tales of how on Christmas during WWII, the American soldiers could hear the Germans singing Silent Night.

We need to start to see - the story of history is so vital in learning about who we are as humankind. Likewise our smaller individual stories that we have written and are still writing - these are forming who we will become. The events leading to WWII began a very ugly story... The challenging question is this - what story are we writing? One historian writes a great statement, this is from when he explains how the stage for WWII came into being:

"Each of us is shaping the background history of tomorrow" (Chaim Schatzker

I could go on, about the horrors, heroics and heartwrenching parts of WWII. I just finished watching a 10 part HBO series called Band of Brothers, based on the experiences of Easy Company, a paratrooper company that was dropped behind enemy lines on D-day. The brotherhood, the suffering they endured, the men who were broken by war, those who persevered... All these stories tug at my heart...

Life is a battle. We need brothers, and I am thankful for mine. Corporal Carl Lipton of Easy Company, during an interview of his experiences in World War II, quoted Shakespeare's St. Crispen's Day Speech:

From this day to the ending of the world we in it shall be remembered. We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother. (Shakespeare)

Here's to our stories, and the brothers who shed blood in the unglorious trenches of life by my side.

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Maybe this time I'll finish it...

Why the change in color? To make it fit better onto my new website.

Yah I purchased www.alllantan.net awhile back and started working on it. I have a lot of ideas, but hopefully I'll actually be finishing it more than my former website.

I don't have much done yet, you can check out my pictures and sign the guestbook if it so pleases you tho :)

I'm currently taking a course on the importance of studying history, last couple days have been looking at World War II. I have to admit, I'm quite ignorant of the events and the world situation. It blows my mind to consider the things that happened, but today's class reminded me of the scarier part - the holocaust was not some farfetched surprise. We reaped what was sown. Antisemitism did not magically spring up when Hitler was appointed chancellor... no things had been in motion for centuries. What that also means is that things could have been changed long before the extermination of around 6 million Jews.

Tomorrow we take a field trip out to the Dachau concentration camp, just north of Munich. Its crazy to think of the horrors committed just a few hours drive from where I am. Or even the place I am now... part of the Schloss's history was that it was used by the German SS during WWII, and Himmler himself had some operations here.

I think I'd like to write something about history soon, but need to reflect and think somemore first... perhaps this Lord of the Rings quote sums and warns us well:

The world is changed: I feel it in the
water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it
in the air...Much that once was is lost,
for none now live who remember it...

...and some things that should not have been forgotten...were lost


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." (Santayana)

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A new page

Hm has factors of 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 12. Must be a flexible year? :P

I always longed to sing this song on the right occasion, funny how fitting it is for how I actually feel right now. I find it such an honest song - yet uplifting, ah to not cop out on life! I am the second man now...

Click to listen: http://www.allantan.net/Switchfoot_TwentyFour.wma

Twenty Four by Switchfoot

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

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Swing of things...

I've almost been here at the Schloss for one month now. Its been good so far, although I have my moments of homesickness for sure... So what have I been up to? I find the list getting long, one thing is I don't want to be overambitious, yet the Schloss is a place where lot of opportunity comes a knockin'

Coursework - Just finished a course on marriage/family/sexuality, and starting Biblical Exegesis tomorrow. The prof teaching is an amazing jazz pianist who I'm working with for music/worship stuff. Going to feel weird, haven't been in school for a long time.

Worship Stuff - Got a chance to work with a really cool program called mediashout.com which basically replaces using Powerpoint for song lyrics, scriptures, songs/pictures etc. Also since my arrival we're starting up having 2 worship teams to rotate for Sunday services. Its cool, my team has a Bulgarian dude who's doing some lead guitar, I'm doing rhythm guitar and vocals, a Brazillian gal is playing piano and a Vancouver gal is singing with me. Also we're switching to daily chapel this week, so we'll have 20 mins of scripture/prayer/singing every morning now.

IT - Since coming here theres been enough tech support stuff to do around here. There hasn't been anyone to fix up stuff in awhile, so a lot of little things, so-and-so can't print, some MS Active Directory user admin, hoping to do some work with revamping the Schloss' online registration and setting up MS Exchange server here.

Extracurricular - Hmm well I have about 6-7 books I'm reading right now... yeah I'm one of those who can't stick to one book, rather its like food, I like to choose what I'm in the mood to 'eat' each day. Notably, reading Pilgrim's Progress (Bunyan), The Christian Imagination (GK Chesterton), Life Together(Bonhoffer), Emotional Intelligence(Goleman), and Hind's Feet on High Places(Hurnard). Also started German classes today - I figure it'd be cool since I'm here longer to actually learn some German. Wanna learn? Found a good tutorial site by BBC here. Hmm hoping yeah to learn some jazz piano, improve guitar, read more, eh my usual list of hobbies.

Fun Stuff - All work and no play makes Allan a dull boy. Hoping to go skating/sledding (attn Canadians, we're the only ones who call it 'tobogganing', which frankly is just a pain to spell :P) soon. Its too warm right now, but they have a 14km sled run here! Man that blows my mind. Also got a chance to take a day trip out to Venice, Italy just two days ago, I'll have some pics up soon. But yah just getting to know people here, which is much of the fun.

So that was sorta s brief summary of what I'm up to... I miss you all lots! I feel very far away.. so maybe knowing what I'm up to makes me feel like I'm more connected or something... or something... take care everyone!

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To think about it...

Wandering through the library here at the Schloss you come across all sorts of interesting books (this one happened to be signed by author and originally gifted to one of our OT profs here), randomly picked one up and came across this quote:

A human being's highest achievement is to let God be able to help him.
-Søren Kierkegaard

Yeah I really like it. I tend to fall into a mindset of thinking I have to do this and this, I need to change myself in this and this way, etc. When really after one becomes a Christian, the highest achievement may be making ourself available for God's help. This may include not having a hard heart, willingness to change, openness to God's sovereignty, etc.

Really interesting wording though, "let God be able". "Let" to me means some level of consent. Now "be able" means to suggest that we have some say in what God can do in us. Consider in Mark 6 (link), it is that our amount of faith can limit what God can do in our lives.

Consider the Isrealites during the exodus and the quote rings even more true. What did the Isrealites need to do? Part the Red sea themselves? Make their own manna? No - they needed to let God be able to help them, and to this end they often failed.

I hope I aim for the highest achievement

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Imagine

A quote that has always impacted me is:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

We all find ourselves in different circumstances, and being human we believe certain things are possible and certain things aren't, given our circumstances. Herein lies the power of imagination. For God, what is impossible? So why is it that we only perceive reality with such limitations?

Imagination

noun 1. The faculty or action of forming ideas or images in the mind. 2. The ability of the mind to be creative or resourceful. (Oxford Compact)

We've been given the gift of imagination - the ability to conceive of a reality unlike our own. There are those dreamers and visionaries who are able to imagine great things that could be - and even sometimes those things once imagined come true.

I still struggle with understanding how much stock we should put into the things we can imagine. The struggle being:
a) If humans are sinful, then our imagination are sinful as well. We consider that the human heart is deceitful - thus we should be very cautious in our imaginings?
b) If God has redeemed us and given us a new heart and Spirit - well then perhaps its about time we started really exploring our imagination. In Genesis 2:19-20(link) we are seen that part of God's job was to use his own creativity and to name the animals - that we were included as part of God's creating process (throughout the Bible we see that God was keen on doing things, and then naming them). So if we really submit ourselves and give our imagination over to God - it may be our strongest ally.

Lately I've been leaning towards b) more. Been reading up on some G.K. Chesterton (this book) who's a Christian author, musician, etc you name it. He is a strong supporter of using our imagination, and the important of stories and fantasy.

I get a feeling that modern Christianity seems to suppress imagination, or is at least quite wary of dreaming/fantasy. I'm inclined to think that creativity cannot exist without imagination. I'm also inclined to think we were created to reflect God's creativity - hence why humans pursue arts/music/other types of expression really.

Hm just thinking of this now - if our perception of the world is very limited, then how else would God expand our perception other than through expanding our imagination? So what I mean is suppose you observe some situation - isn't our perception affected by our belief in God, what God can do, what we can do, what hope is there, etc etc? Isn't this some sort of spiritual vision/imagination?

Maybe the great visionaries of the past and present simply imagined more...

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Here at last!

Arrived safely back at Schloss Mittersill and been here exactly a week now. Finally getting settled in, as I got pretty sick when coming, and then it was the weekend, so now finally getting into the groove of things. A few pictures to share with you all.

The now wintery town of Mittersill

Currently working out of a sound booth. Really
slick sound board on the right there, should
be learning to get the hang of that while here.

The winter sunsets are really beautiful
if you catch em on the right day

Well got plenty of work ahead for me to get going on. Should get back to my normal updating, waiting for an interesting topic to come to mind. Cheers

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Lessons from Learning Cantonese

Most of you know one of my latest hobbies is trying to relearn my Cantonese (mostly using this site). Its part of my 5 yr plan to hopefully learn conversational Cantonese, conversational Mandarin, then either reading/written simplified/traditional. I'd like to see myself in some type of full time Christian ministry one day, and I think they'd be valuable assets. It'll be a long road tho, so we'll see if I carry it out to the end or not.

One thing if I find about Chinese is that the characters and literal meanings are quite interesting, at times funny, critical and profound. So in Chinese there might be two characters that together mean "smoking" for example, but if you look at the literal translations its quite interesting. If I knew how to write and read I think it becomes even more interesting, as each word is construction with characters adding even more meaning. Heres a few examples:

食煙 sik yeen - "to smoke". Literal translation "eat smoke". haha

小心 siu sum - "to be careful". Literal translation "little heart"

有心 yau sum - "to care for". Literal translation "have heart"

龍蝦 loong haa - "lobster". Literal translation "dragon shrimp". Hm well I guess if you combined a dragon and a shrimp, haha.

On a more political side of things (with the upcoming election), my mom was teaching me that the character that can be used for politician or ruling is 管治, of which the first character has two "mouth" characters (the box). Meaning well, politicans can say one thing, and than another thing later.

One of the profound ones that has influenced me lately is the term for "relax" or to "put at ease". Its 放心 "fong sum". The literal translation for this is "release heart".

Wow - this lines up so much with what it means for us as Christians to trust and believe in God. I get so easily worked up about something - usually when something doesn't go my way. I want it so bad - it eats away at me. Its time like that we need to give up everything before God, lay down our burdens, and release our heart to its Maker. I don't know what's best, He does. I don't know tomorrow, He does.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matthew 11:28-29

Leaving in 72 hours...

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Choice

Lately I've been thinking about choices a lot... the power of them... and also the privilege of them. Its an area of controversy I admit, I don't pretend I have all the answers... but let me intro this a bit:

I often hear people attribute circumstances, situations, relationships and all sorts of things to God. As a Christian myself - I have a firm belief that God exists and is an active part of our world. The question surrounding the controversy then is - how active is God's will versus our own choice?

The extreme positions on either side are both unbiblical:
1. We are simply God's puppets (1 Chron 21:10 for one example)

2. We are the sole creators of our fate (Prov 19:20)

I think at times I've erred by drifting towards either above positions... which leads me to problems:
1. If I'm a puppet, then I can absolve myself of any and all responsibility. God had arranged it that way... God did this... hence sayings like "she must be the one"... haha.

2. If I'm the sole creator of my fate - well then I don't have faith to look for God's work in the world - I only see a web of human choices. Human choices are ultimately sinful too - so this view doesn't allow room for God's redemption in our world.

But there are strengths and things to be said for these two positions too:
1. Bono said "The more you know, the less you believe". Jesus also tells us that a childlike faith is important. Perhaps we need to attribute more things to God - yes we make choices but God is orchestrating all of them in the beautiful symphony of His universe...

2. There positions strikes me as realistic and truthful, but probably because it suits my temperment. I think we should have a healthy perspective of what our choices are, and their effects. I really like the quote: "Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny." We do a lot of things and make a lot of choices without knowing it, we should know that we reap the results of those decisions, although God can and often does redeem them in some way.

Ah to find balance...

On a more personal note, I have but 17 days left before I leave for Austria. Its been a ride... part of me feels like I've only come back home (got back Sept 22) and I'm already leaving again. I'm off to www.schlossmittersill.org. I'll be doing computer/music stuff while hopefully auditing some courses. I'm quite excited, but also sad to be leaving family and friends... my home. I guess I made a choice... or did I? :P

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I don't know

To err is human, to moo, bovine.

I have often wondered: as humans, should we ever be surprised to find that we're wrong or have committed some fault of some sort? It would seem doing wrong, or being imperfect (what Christians would call "sin") pervades everything we do. Whether a simple miscalculation when adding numbers, to hurting someone close to me - it seems my very nature to do so.

One would think the resulting attitude would then be of humility. In arguments or disputes we should be unsurprised and quite expecting to find ourselves with at least some fault.

My experience (and I would be as bold to suggest others' experiences as well) is quite different. I tend to assume I am right, and it is others that are at fault. On a deeper level there is insecurity - its not that I'm unaware of my faults and proclivity to do wrong... perhaps in the resultant shame a conflict emerges. I want anything but that shame, so I'll try to become perfect, to always be right - anything to avoid facing the brokenness and sinfulness of myself.

Maybe salvation has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where you gonna go... salvation is here

-Dare You to Move by Switchfoot

I've often gone in search for adventure and battle... I do not need to look far though. Trying to learn this - what does it mean to see myself truely, to accept who I am, and to pour that before my Maker?

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