Surprisingly Undeep

I'm standing here. I look around for a moment - to remind myself if I really am where I think I am. Yup... to be perfectly clear: I don't want to be where I am. There's countless other places I could think of being - places I would much rather be.

Life is like that. We often find ourselves in places we don't want to be. Confuscius say "road to growth, easy it is not"... or maybe it was Yoda... Life's like that, you have to give something to get something. Strength is the product of struggle. Want patience? Try waiting. Want wisdom? Try making some mistakes and then looking back.

Its a tradeoff that fortunately is not always in our power to choose, it seems we are invariably faced with these less than appealing aspects of life. Ergo, our natural reflexive reaction is less than positive. The famous saying "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance" comes to mind. We all like freedom, but if it costs us eternal vigilance, then screw freedom! ...oh wait I take that back, freedom is pretty good and pretty important to me.

Ginny Owen's song is moving... If you want me to:

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

"But I don't want to be here" I cry... I want to fly... I want to be elsewhere - becoming who I want to be... discovering who I really am? Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails (Prov 19)... His plans are good too, and good for me... and then the second verse of If you want me to rings so close to home:

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone

I let out a deep sigh. 1 part dissatisfaction, 1 part faith, 1 part trust I tell myself... hopefully... I shrug my shoulders, zip up my jacket and walk into Convergys. Scheduled to work xmas eve, xmas, NY's eve, and NYs...

Can't deprive you of the chorus to the song:

CauseI’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise you’re not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to