I'll do it later

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say." -Will Durant

Procrastination is a funny thing. Its a way of life for students. Acknowledged by all, hated by most, and joked about and almost flaunted by many. I read a couple interesting articles on procrastination, started from this Slashdot post, interestingly the first article suggests that procrastination can be good. Check em out:

Good and Bad Procrastination
Structured Procrastination

Great opening question from the first article: "The most impressive people I know are all terrible procrastinators. So could it be that procrastination isn't always bad?" The second article just makes me laugh. Sadly it seems so true though... lol

Some interesting ideas here to be sure. If we're putting off less important things to do more important things that's good right? I'm pretty sure Albert Einstein put off cleaning his room from time to time while finishing up the theory of relativity... a few thoughts on these issues though:

-Priorities: This is assumed that you can properly assess what things are important. This has large implications both ways. What I've been learning about life is that the seemingly small things are not so small at all. As Oswald Chambers remarked "It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life." We may easily thing petty things crucial, and mislabel the great things of life as fluff.

-Balance: "Saying 'yes' to one thing means saying 'no' to another". So say if I devoted myself to yo-yoing, yeah that area of my life would blossom, but it comes at a cost. These "impressive people" may be impressive in certain areas, but by consequence of being highly devoted to one thing - they are less devoted to other things. We simply cannot do everything.

-Perception/Expectations: Often I heard conversation along the lines of: Tom: "yeah I'm a bad procrastinator". Dick: "no you have no idea, I'm the worst procastinator". Besides that weirdness of bragging about procrastination... Perhaps its our overproductive, overbusy society - but we all have this view that we are never doing enough. Now then it could just be that our standard of productivity is just warped. This can easily lead to guilt and despair - neither of which are terribly motivating. I think we need to learn to give ourselves a break and learning to set reasonable expectations.

Part of me is a bit adverse to the Structured Procrastination idea... trying to produce good from our natural tendency to avoid the large tasks on our mind.. lol

Thoughts? Secret confessions of closet procrastinators? :P

Click to continue reading...

Life Together

Currently Reading Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer



My job actually has resparked my interest to be reading more, and when things are quiet I can get in a few chapters everyday which is nice. I had read Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship (Link) and am finding Life Together to be an amazing book. Its about Christian community - what it really means to have fellowship and to live together as the body of Christ.

The book is incredibly packed. I've read the 20 page first section a couple times, and I feel that I have to reread it some more to really digest what Bonhoeffer is saying. I feel that in 20 pages he so clearly identifies our misconceptions about fellowship. I've been extremely challenged by it. I've been meaning to read more Bonhoeffer, but what really pushed me was noticing that Schloss Mittersill specifically listed the book as being influential in shaping how they do community life.

The accolades are impressive, Richard Foster, author of the staple The Celebration of Discipline (a fine book also) wrote this high praise: "Most books can be skimmed quickly; some deserve careful reading; a precious few should be devoured and digested. Life Together... belongs to the third category."

I have been debating what snippet of the book I ought to share with you all... perhaps the one on the forefront of my mind is Bonhoeffer distinguishing between human love and spiritual love:

Human love is directed to the other person for his own sake, spiritual love loves him for Christ's sake. Therefore, human love seeks direct contact with the other person; it loves him not as a free person but as one whom it binds to itself. It wants to gain, to capture by every means; it uses force. It desires to be irresistible, to rule... Human love makes itself an end in itself. It creates of itself an end, an idol which it worships, to which it must subject everything. It nurses and cultivates an ideal, it loves itself, and nothing else in the world. Spiritual love, however, comes from Jesus Christ

Click to continue reading...

A thousand words...

Reuters and Time both released their best pictures of 2005.

Check it:

MSNBC's Year in Pictures
Reuters' Pictures of the Year
Time Magazine's "Year in Pictures"
BBC's Year in Pictures

Some amazing shots. Some look a bit unrealistic... The MSNBC waterfall shot must have been on slow exposure, but the monks came out in focus. Hmm dunno. Anyway thought you might enjoy. Eagerley awaiting BBCs to come up, will add the link when it does.

Oh yeah btw, I'm leaving January 24th for Schloss Mittersill, booked my tickets. The combination of being gone last summer, working evenings, the holidays, and the idea of going back has made me realize how much I'll miss all of you. I hope I will have a chance to spend time with all of you before I leave. Grace and peace to all of you in this Christmas season.

Click to continue reading...

Surprisingly Undeep

I'm standing here. I look around for a moment - to remind myself if I really am where I think I am. Yup... to be perfectly clear: I don't want to be where I am. There's countless other places I could think of being - places I would much rather be.

Life is like that. We often find ourselves in places we don't want to be. Confuscius say "road to growth, easy it is not"... or maybe it was Yoda... Life's like that, you have to give something to get something. Strength is the product of struggle. Want patience? Try waiting. Want wisdom? Try making some mistakes and then looking back.

Its a tradeoff that fortunately is not always in our power to choose, it seems we are invariably faced with these less than appealing aspects of life. Ergo, our natural reflexive reaction is less than positive. The famous saying "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance" comes to mind. We all like freedom, but if it costs us eternal vigilance, then screw freedom! ...oh wait I take that back, freedom is pretty good and pretty important to me.

Ginny Owen's song is moving... If you want me to:

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

"But I don't want to be here" I cry... I want to fly... I want to be elsewhere - becoming who I want to be... discovering who I really am? Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails (Prov 19)... His plans are good too, and good for me... and then the second verse of If you want me to rings so close to home:

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone

I let out a deep sigh. 1 part dissatisfaction, 1 part faith, 1 part trust I tell myself... hopefully... I shrug my shoulders, zip up my jacket and walk into Convergys. Scheduled to work xmas eve, xmas, NY's eve, and NYs...

Can't deprive you of the chorus to the song:

CauseI’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise you’re not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to

Click to continue reading...

Globalize this

Heh I being at work on the computer at work means I'm blogging lots...

Wouldn't want to be this guy:

More Pics(BBC)

I've never had any personal encounters with pepper spray but that's gotta be pretty painful... was chatting with rob last night who lives out in HK, and how there are big WTO protests as WTO is meeting there right now. Buses suspended from going to the island where the talks are held... (Edit - BBC put more pictures up here)

Its an issue I wished I thought more about, and knew more about too. I mean the shoes I'm wearing, the clothes I'm wearing, so many of the items around us we have - they were all made halfway around the globe, perhaps in less than pretty circumstances, with barely any benefit to the hands that made them.

I'm no expert, but heres my quick lowdown on the WTO stuff if you haven't heard much about it. WTO is the World Trade Organization, usually associated with globalization. They promote free trade, i.e. opposing trade tariffs, restrictions. The main beef is when you have such powerful and rich people calling the shots in free trade, then the smaller poorer countries are going to get screwed over. Free trade then can create extremely competitive prices that means some producers/growers are going to get screwed over. BBC has an excellent In Depth section on these world trade issues (Link) and Wikipedia has a detailed article on the WTO also (Link)

So what can someone like me even do about such things? Certainly we cannot vote on WTO, etc. Perhaps what we buy becomes our vote? We've all heard of the stories - and many of them true. Nike employees in some south east asian country being paid 2 cents for every shirt they produce. I recently bought a great documentary looking at some of these corporate problems (The Corporation, Reviews). Feel free to borrow it from me.

I think its good for us, especially as citizens of one of the richer countries that historically has gained a lot more from free trade than other poorer countries to be aware of the situation out there. The global economic situation seems dire... still over a billion people living on less than $1USD a day. The fact that free trade might make things WORSE for those people makes some people pretty pissed off. Pissed off enough to protest even at risk of getting a faceful of pepper spray (see above).

Some companies are trying to make a difference, economically and environmentally. One such company I respect is Mountain Equipment Co-op, who in their mission state they specifically seek good and fair compensation and working conditions for those producing their clothing/backpacks. But even then its tough to be competitive - MEC used to have a lot of its clothing and backpacks produced right in Canada, but I guess competition/greed has pushed them back to almost outsourcing all of its production, but it is clear that they are firm on being socially and environmentally responsible, as seen here.

As for me? Maybe I should be a little more pissed off.

Click to continue reading...

WOW

Starting Xmas I get day shifts at work!! 8:15-4:45 for the entire week of the 25-31st, I'm assuming I'll be getting days from herein! Wow I just might keep working here longer afterall... :P Its an especially pleasant surprise because we were told not to even imagine day shifts until after our 3 months of probation were done.

Right now scheduled to work xmas day 8:15-4:45 dunno about that (>.<) I should probably talk to someone about that. "Religious observance" anyone? lol.

Wow I don't even know what to say. Mind you I'm sleeping around ~6am everyday, so starting work at 8:15 is really going to kick my ass for awhile.

On other reflections... should try taking myself less seriously

Edit - Probably a premature celebration... some other employees were saying we're just getting day shifts for a week. If this is the case I'm going to yell at someone. Asking people to switch their sleeping hours by 7 hours for one week is pretty bogus if you ask me. I'll have to find out for sure *crosses fingers*

Click to continue reading...

It was perfect....

Its the sort of evening you dream about. There is a light snow falling... the temperature just around -5. The glow of the streetlamps creates a candlelight-like aura. The snow crunches underneath me, but I barely hear it under my breath. My legs feel pretty good - although my heavy breathing lets me know my cardio is suffering. I really had to get out of the house - one of those times where you need something to feel alive again. I hadn't gone for a run in a long time... but here I am.

It feels good to push myself. I pass by many shovelling their driveways, who momentarily gawk at me as if enjoying a winter run was a thing unfathomable. Its here, while I am pounding away on the concrete or the pedals of my bike that I feel so free. What pulls at my heart is the purity of intention - when one sets his simple and humble goal of getting from point A to B. Theres no pretense, no alterior motives, just you, your destination, and the kilometers of ground between. Its such a refreshing contrast from the complications of life.

There's a stillness about the streets... as you run down a street and just see the freshly fallen snow, the darkskies and streetlamps... I am loving it. Suddenly my body wants to stop. Without a fight I start to walk, my lungs gasping. "Am I quitting already?" I glance at my watch... 10 minutes. A far cry from the hour run I did a couple months ago. Again the battle seems before me... I could quit. No one would care, no one would see. It seems such a glorious microcosm of my life... the battle is here and now. I want to push on... after this short contemplation I get myself into a jog again and push on. As I get going again, I start to ask "What am I trying to prove anyway? Why am I here?". It feels good to push the questions out of my mind for a moment and just keep pounding away... The journey from point A to B doesn't require my incessant analysis, and I am glad for that.

I reach about 17 minutes, and somewhat more satisfied I start my cool down walk... I had wasted my entire day so far but it is good to exert myself. The runner's high hits a few seconds into my walk... the adrenaline and endorphines rushing up from inside. Its nice, I feel alive again. 17 minutes... all I need to do is triple my time/distance, and do a 1.5km swim and 40km bike beforehand... "triathlon in summer 2007" I tell myself wistfully, but shake my head.

If only life were as simple as tonight's run, or my frequent bike rides when I push and push myself with a single goal in mind. Tonight was nice... "perfect" I tell myself... well "almost perfect" quickly correcting myself. It was a quick 20 minutes, but it was just what I needed. Upon touching the doorknob of my house I am immediately jolted back to the real world. "Oh I gotta be at work in 20 minutes" I think as I hurry in and close the door.

Click to continue reading...

The unglorious trenches that must be held

Yesterday night I was tempted to buy Band of Brothers, a miniseries based on WWII stories of the famous airborne regiment Easy Company. Theres something about war stories thats so appealing - perhaps its the adventure, the glory, the chance to test and see what you're really made of.

Aye what a beautiful letdown it is. Its funny how that works out - especially as Christians we want to do great things. The beautiful letdown is when we are faced with a difficult struggle - one that is not glorious nor adventurous. It is painful, slow, filled with drudgery - the type of battle that is infinitely easier to avoid and ignore...

Perhaps blogs are meant to vent... I don't know. Maybe I'm the type of person who almost has to wear his heart on a sleeve. Alas another lot has fallen to me, no plans to get into the specific details here. Theres a mix of feelings - why me?. If it is for the greater good (which I do believe it to be), then this is selfish response to be sure. So I tremble - will I be the man?

I'm learning that the battle is not won on the spotlight of this world. It is these unglorious trenches - when everything in you wants to quit or run away and hide. No one would see, no would know. One episode of Band of Brothers a soldier shares his shameful confession. That on D-Day when they stormed the beach, he got seperated from his platoon, and ended up in a hole well concealed. He confesses that he never tried to find his group, that during all the battle he hid. No one knew, no one had to know. But he makes his confession, and from there he takes up his responsibility, his calling, and his purpose and fights from then on - wow.

Chambers words echo and haunt once more: "It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life." O that we would stand by the grace and strength of God in our unglorious trenches and fight the battles that fall to each of us.

Edit - Oh my I've glanced over my last few posts... far too serious, introspective, meh ai yah. OK some humour to lighten to mood. Although stay tuned, I think my next topic will try to address - why is it so easy and common for people to share relatively intimated and personal reflections on blogs anyway???

Some good times working at Convergys (all true):

Me: Thank you for calling Comcast. My name is allan, can I please have the phone number on your account starting with area code?
Some guy: *starts dialing*
Me: Uh.. could you just tell me please?
-
Me: Ok, now that we did that could we try opening up a web browser and lets see if you can get online.
Lady: Heck no! I only know how to turn this thing on
Me: *presses mute button and groans*
-
Cool NYer: Yeah man I feel ya
Me: Uh.. haha (considers saying "ya I feel it too brotha, but wisely doesn't)
-
Me: Ok could you turn off the computer please?
Lady: *presses button on the monitor* Ok theres nothing on my screen now
-
Lady: So why are they called cookies anyway?
Me: you know what? I have no idea... no one's ever asked me that before (and I still don't know!

Click to continue reading...

Impulse vs Stability vs Passion

If I look at my life I see hobby after hobby gone by. I find myself switching hobbies/passions very frequently. I've never been to sure what to make of this. I find when I'm into something I tend to get way too into it, and then a few months later I'm switching hobbies. Maybe I just like to be learning something new - or perhaps I develop unsustainable behaviour over my hobbies? hmm

Anyway my latest project was completed last night, at least the first phase. The 1st year med students this year are taking part in an fundraising project for HIV/AIDS relief in KwaZulu-Natal, a province of South Africa where 36% of adults are HIV infected! Yikes - anyway I got onboard to design and make their website. Just finished it last night at 6:30am... lol maybe that answers my question about "unsustainable behaviour". Take a look, I'd like some feedback/suggestions. http://simunye.webhop.org. I was mostly aiming for something with a pretty clean look.

So yeah maybe sometimes I pursue too many things, which leads me to want to understand impulsiveness vs passion vs desire. This question started after reading a particular devotional by Oswald Chambers (whose teaching I hold in high regard) which basically said that impulsiveness goes against everything a Christian disciple is trying to become. That Jesus was never impulsiveness, but there a calm strength that might result in doing very "loud" and passionate things, but that it isn't impulsiveness. This can get into semantics, but he seems to define impulsiveness as "thoughtless action", which it probably is.

I get a lot of impulses - I think we all do. I guess the true mark of a mature disciple is restraint and reflection too. Then on, sometimes we may know the right thing to do right away, in which case we should just do it. Come to think of it, "impulsiveness" is a pretty good term to describe children. Here's to growing up *raises glass*

Click to continue reading...

A sober view

Last Friday Terry gave a talk at youth group, somehow age came up and he said something along these lines: the older you get, the easier it is to rationalize yourself. Which is pretty scary, when I consider how easy it is already to convince myself that I'm right, and what I want is right, and that pretty much everyone else is wrong.. lol. Pride runs deep, it will do all it can to try to glorify the self and put itself above everyone else.

For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down
   -Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot

I think theres a part of all of us that wants to be great. Whether in the eyes of certain people, others, what we think God's eyes see, our own eyes... hmm. We want to be special, recognized, glorified. I want to share a teaching by Oswald Chambers again, its a toughie but a goodie: It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes. (Link).

Teach us to walk the humble path...

Click to continue reading...

When the way is hazy...

Any of you who read my blog would know I was very excited about returning to Schloss Mittersill. But now doubt fills my mind. How does one begin to way big life decisions? The pros and cons, the weights attached, the resulting balance, the things to come... are all unsure.

I suppose at the core of it all is fear - if my decision is not "right". Which is silly, as a lot of these decisions are not an issue of right and wrong at all. Perhaps I simply fear being unwise - making a foolish decision. The kind of foolishness that comes back to haunt - "why in the world did I do that??" "How could I have been so blind?" The hidden results of a decision made... this saying will not be forgotten: "Saying yes to one thing means saying no to another".

Eh now I'm getting melodramatic, there is a part of me that says it'll be cool whether I stay or go, just choose already. Haha as per typical Allan style I think I'm overanalyzing it to death perhaps... I was reading a book on leadership, one of the qualities of a leader the author praises is the ability to take "calculated risks". A leader can never know the final outcome, but he can have a dream and take a calculated risk to achieve it. Where is that leadership in me now?

But time is moving fast, if I do plan to go back in mid-late January I need to start looking for people to sponsor me asap. Aye all my demons of old taunt me - accusing me of irresponsibility, abandonment, calling me a fool - Jonah. My God, my friends, my family, my dreams in Winnipeg - think not less of me if I go.

Click to continue reading...

Destitute...

Excerpt from today's My Utmost for His Highest devotional (Link)

We have to realize that we cannot earn or win anything from God; we must either receive it as a gift or do without it. The greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute, until we get there Our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us if we think we are sufficient of ourselves; we have to enter His Kingdom through the door of destitution.

That man writes with such succinct clarity its disturbing... lol. Humble pie anybody?

Click to continue reading...

Residual Image...

Remember in the Matrix where you look like your residual image or whatever? Have some fun, click on my pic and make your own:

Avatar Creator

The "email" link doesn't work, so you'll have to print screen and paste into a picture editor like Paint.

Oh and on my last post I had listed that "Persistence" picture, haha I found the entire collection. You can view them here or buy them from the creators. One of my favs that would be awesome to have the mug and bring to work: Meetings. Enjoy the cynicism... haha so snarky.

P.S. Wow being at the computer all day at work means I do quite a bit of surfing...

Click to continue reading...

Just give it up

haha came across this funny picture, it made me laugh a lot. Not even sure why, but perhaps it will do the same for you:



LOL. Not like "ha ha" funny, more like a snickering that starts small and grows.

Click to continue reading...

When stars align...

Well my parents come home tomorrow. Its been about 6 weeks of enjoyable bachlor life ^_^ Naturally I want to be responsible, so a lot of things to do before the 'rents come home, cleaning, booking off work so I can pick them up, going to cook them a nice meal to come home to, etc. Then some things came to rain on my parade:

This week I got a flat tire on Wednesday night, at 2:30am, when it was -32 (inc windchill)... without gloves I wasn't going to change the tire myself. So then caught taxi home.. had to get taxi back to the car, get tow truck, etc. Then today, got into a car accident... which wasn't my fault, but yeah, I'm sure my mom can't wait to see how dented the driver's door is, you can feel a draft while driving... This on top of scratching my dad's van.. wow. Well only 1 of the 3 incidents was my fault, but still. Hoping to at least get the tire fixed tomorrow afternoon so only 2 of the incidents are visible.. lol

Funny how the little things can so easily bog us down, and deflate enthusiasm. I'm here at work, and just feel as if my legs have been cut out from undernearth me... I suppose little disappointments can prove to be a lot. Mind you pretty consistently I go through emotional hardship about a week or two before a Unite event. hm.

looks straight ahead not at me

Click to continue reading...

When the time is just right

I Need Words by David Crowder Band [ Listen (Amazon.com) ]

I need words
As wide as sky
I need language wide as
This longing inside
And I need a voice
Bigger than mine
And I need a song to sing you
That I've yet to find

I need you, oh
I need you
I need you, oh
I need you
To be here now
To be here now
To here me now
To here me now

Left today for work (doing 5:30pm-2:00am shifts) and you just catch the right sunset sometimes... had to turn around and go home to get my camera and ended up a few mins late for work. Haha I consider it worth it. Sometimes the time just has to be right... I didn't have time to manually do any settings... this was just whatever I had my camera on last, no editing. Hmm. (looking west across Waverley by Richmond West)

Click to continue reading...

Go to your cell...

Getting quite excited as I'm diving into more reading/meditation on the topics of solitude and silence. Check out this excerpt from Bill Hybel's Too Busy Not To Pray:

You can't become an authentic Christian on a diet of constant activity, even if the activity is all church related. Ministry, Christian rock concerts, weekend conferences, church committee meetings - these all may be valuable, but they are not your main source of strength. Strength comes out of solitude... I'll repeat what I said... the archenemy of spiritual authenticity is business

Starting to get on the ball with planning and preperation for the Fallow Earth service. You know what? I've always wanted to write... but never really had a topic that really grabbed me. Well sometimes I did have topics but was too lazy (I'll mention this in a minute).

Anyway currently I have the passion to write some type of devotion book, I guess snippets of what I've been discovering on my journey with solitude or silence. Perhaps the title would be: Solitude - Meditations on a Closer Walk with God. This might end up just being a byproduct of my prepping for Fallow Earth which is leading me to hunt through several books on the topic.

The other thing I had wanted to write on I thought was a neat idea, but I'm already too old for it. (yup... at 23). The concept of the book would be a series of letters of dialogue between a 18 year old youth, and a parent. Only both letters would be written by myself.. firstly as a 18 year old living at home with parents, then as a parent with a 18 year old child (yes I know.. assuming I get married and have kids and the world doens't end, etc etc). I thought it'd be a neat attempt to help bridge the gap. Truth is, when I'm in my fifties, I WILL forget what it was like to be 18. Maybe theres a lot to be said for just writing ideas and things out. Hmm is 23 too late?

Click to continue reading...

The evening shifts begin...

Today was my first day of real work at Convergys, but also marks the beginning of my evening shifts. I'll be starting work between 3-6pm and finishing from 11:30pm-2:30am. Not exactly the hours I'd like, and will do a number on my social life. But it is a job, and will raise the funds for me to pay off my debt before my missions trip to Austria.

Speaking of that, so I did email the Schloss and they said it'd be cool if I were to come back. So yeah right now its just a matter of working out the details, and my next major step would be to let people know about my decision and to seek sponsorship for my volunteer term. Weird, seems so distant and far away, but really if I go for it (and God willing), this can really happen.

So built a second cajon this week for someone (you know who you are :P). Also tried out my cajon in a worship team enviroment finally (along with an egg shaker and tambourine) for a practice with Erica, Sheldon, Conrad, Geoff. It was lotsa of fun!

Also had another dinner party, heh. We watched The Corporation. Its an amazing Canadian documentary, that looks at what a corporation is and its effect on society. This is REALLY worth seeing. Definitely one of the most moving documentaries I've ever seen, I can just say WOW. Check out the link for many reviews, and yes I'd love to watch it with you (or lend it to you) and discuss it. Hmm I'm really into documentaries lately, saw March of the Penguins for the 2nd time this week with Janet and Sol. Good times, good movie, good documentary.

Ok sleep time, time to teach myself to make be productive in my mornings ^_^

Click to continue reading...

Recent happenings...

I've been back in Winnipeg for exactly one month to the day. Its been both exciting and challenging to be back. This is also two weeks to the day of being completely home alone, as my parents are off to HK for a good month at least. Dinner guests are welcomed!

So whats been up... I've decided to go back to Austria to volunteer for a longer term at Schloss Mittersill. For awhile this was kinda up in the air, and created a general unease about my life situation, but Godwilling this is now what I plan to do.

So then I looked for some work, and got hired at Convergys. I am thankful for the job, although I haven't enjoyed it that much yet. Its a call center, I'll be doing tech support for Comcast (a large American ISP). This job will allow me to pay off debts and be ready to go back to Austria by mid to late January. I'd hope to stay there until around September 2006. I just emailed them today, and hoping to hear back and get more specs on what I'll be doing.

Its been both challenging and nice to be on my own. I enjoy the challenges of cooking decent meals, taking care of things around the house and whatnot. Definitely times can get very quiet and lonely, but at the same time its that much easier to have solitude and quiet.

Along those lines, most of you know that I'm involved with Unite praise & worship nights. This fall's Unite has been cancelled, and I'm in the midst of planning a service called "Fallow Earth" to be instead. It will deal a lot with solitude, looking at what it means to really be still before God, and how easy the busyness of the modern age hurts our relationship with God. That is - it is very possible to do all these God-related things, be serving in all these God-related capacities but then forget to actually foster a deep, meaningful relationship with God. Hm a danger I have known all to well. Great quote: "The archenemy of spiritual authenticity is busyness" (Bill Hybels from Too Busy Not to Pray)

Wow I should really update more often rather than spewing on and on once a month.. haha well it continues.

So my latest hobby (spawned just 6 days ago) was an interest in cajons (accent grave over the o). Its a percussive instrument believed to original from Afro-Peruvian slaves. Its really really cool.. I first heard it when a German musician played one. I was outside the room, and I thought there was actually a drum kit in there. When I walked in, there was just a box! Its quite fascinating, anyway instead of spending like $150USD on one, I decided to make my own (a project that Sam and I undertook). I'm quite happy with it, the sound is pretty good, check it out. (Edit - I recorded a quick clip of me playing it, hmm my mic isn't very good, but can give you an idea of what the cajon sounds like, its about 1 meg mp3 file - sound clip)

Actually the hobby is percussion in general I suppose, I'm borrowing a friend's djembe and having a blast on that too! Thanks Jho!

Ok enough rambling for now, cheers mates

Click to continue reading...

Back in Winnipeg

Ah! Its nice to be back. This summer has been quite the adventure, so its nice to be back home. Thanks to all those who extended hospitality to me!

Its been a bit weird, I've only been back 3 days but I did not anticipate this much nostalgia, confusion and general shock to readjusting back to life here. I've been thinking though, it should be understandable as pretty much all the areas of my life were uprooted over the last 4 months. Finished school, changed churches, left family for first time, entered completely new culture, country, dropped several responsibilities, etc. Guess I'm still reeling a bit, mmm might take some time to just catch up with... myself. But definitely thanks to all my friends out there, who have helped support me, shared enthusiasm over my summer adventures, and were just there for me! ^_^

Now seeking direction. A lot of what I should be doing now depends on if I plan on returning to Schloss Mittersill for sure. yup.

Anyway here's pics of my time travelling in Canada:

Jeff in Ottawa at Metro City Church.
Thanks for letting me stay over dude!
Man those are some sweet yos... ;)

Evelyn , thanks for putting me up for a couple nights! Mmm wasn't planning to make this fun?

In Montreal (cool city!) with Jen for 5 days, thanks sis ;).
Notre Dame Basilica, funky blue lights.

Montreal by night from the lookout on top of Mount Royal

Went to McGill school of music and jammed it up

Went for all you can eat sushi in Toronto with Chris... mmm Nice to see you again dude!

Toronto for 4 nights with Corinna. Mmm she has cute cats ^_^.
Thanks for having me over! So much good food...

Better pic of Corinna's new kitty, aptly named Chaos.
Appears to be quite comfy on my backpack, hehe

Click to continue reading...

Pictures Up

All my pictures from London, Paris and Austria are now up. On the right hand side are the links. Hm not the same without commentary to explain some of them, but I'll gladly give a "tour" to you once back home. ^_^

I leave for Toronto in 2 days, will be back in Winnipeg in 6 days. I'm ready to go home. *clicks heels*

Click to continue reading...

The end of a chapter...

...always means the start of a new one.

Well I've left Austria (just on Thursday morning). Hmm for me it was very sad, my first experience of living for that long away from home, making new friends, and then having to say goodbye. I guess this is simply part of life, but one part of life which I don't have much experience. I'm pretty nostalgic by nature (I think its closely related to my idealism, to think and want to cling to "good old times"). They threw me a nice going away party, but I think I was sorta sad and detached the whole time. Hm but I did pack a few boxes of stuff away for me to keep there.. yup its sorta-quasi-semi-somewhat official now - I plan to return to Schloss Mittersill. My responsibilities would be mainly these two: a) Computer tech support (network admin, some programming hopefully) and b) Worship intern (working with the worship leader/pastor there). I'm quite excited for both what I can contribute and what I can learn through this. I also hope to be involved with starting up some type of prayer and support for the male volunteers (MSG overseas?) and I'd love to take a course or 2 there (intensive Hebrew anybody? lol)

Right now I'm in Ottawa at Jeff's place. I played a hobo in London for a day, now I'll be here in Ottawa for 4 nights, Montreal for 5 nights, then Toronto for 4 nights. Excited to visit my sisters, as I've never seen their apartments!

So yeah.. start of a new chapter. Its amazing how influential my time at the castle has been on my life... its been amazing. Perhaps one day I'll be able to put it out in words a bit. Until then I look forward to getting back home (I'll be in Winnipeg on the 22nd). I plan to find a job, and begin raising money and hopefully returning to the castle sometime in December, and I'd like to stay there until August or September 2006, so like a 9 month term.

Thank you to all those who supported my decision to go to the castle, and for those who prayed for me. It was an amazing time, and I believe God used it mightily in my life. Hope to see you all soon!

Some pics from my going away party...

Christie, Dawn and Glynis

Aneta, Lena, Karissa, Mackenzie, Natalia and Tia

Vaidas and Mariusz

Nels and Elenor

Click to continue reading...

When it seems time is against us

Wow its crazy how quickly time passes. My summer volunteer term here at Schloss Mittersill is winding down. Many of the volunteers have begun to leave already. Heres a picture of the summer volunteer group. Nationalities represented: Polish, Lithuanian, Slovakian, Australian, Spanish, American, Russian, Canadian, Irish, British.

Yeah its just crazy... it feels as though time is against us in some ways. You meet all sorts of cool and interesting people but know that shortly we will part ways. But we accept this and enjoy the opportunity nonethelss! Within the next two weeks almost half the people in this picture will be gone (gah goodbyes are so sad). Then on the summer is generally short. This is part of the reason I find it appealing to return here for the longer 9 month term, as you have much more time to really get to know the other volunteers.

Oh well, this is part of life. I'll remember all the good times together, and the friendship we've shared. I'm a firm believer that everyone you meet changes who you are, teaches you more about people and more about one's self. So here's to us, all the good and bad times we've shared, and to the great journey of life that we walk.

Click to continue reading...

Moved!

Howdy all. Well my blog was formerly at xanga.com (www.xanga.com/mr_allantan) but I've decided to move to blogger.com. Now note the easier address, any of you can post comments to my posts.

Sorry to all those who have emailed me! I haven't been good in my correspondence... I hope to improve!

It's been quite awhile since I've updated on what's been new. My time here at Schloss Mittersill (www.schlossmittersill.org) has been amazing! To be honest, its not for certain yet but I'm seriously thinking about coming back. To be more accurate - I would LIKE to come back. About 3 weeks ago one of the staff here approached me about returning for a longer term to serve here in some computer/sound technical support capacity. So although I'd l Ike to come back, I'm seeking God's guidance and advice on the possibility. Right now I would consider:
1. I'd come home for sure still sometime in September (flying to Ottawa on Sept 9, planning to visit friends/sisters in Ottawa, Montreal and Toronto). I'd probably be back in Wininpeg late September.
2. I'd stay home for at least a couple months. I'd want to save up some money, and raise funds, and just have a chance to be home again. If I did return to the Schloss I don't see it happening before early November.
3. If things could work out ideally, I'd come back here and stay still around at least summer. Perhaps if Jen (my sister) still comes to World Cup 2006 in Germany, I could meet up with her, and also have her visit the castle and attend the super cool Arts Conference here at the Schloss.
4. In terms of what I'd do here, I'd like to do the computer/technical stuff, be involved with worship, and hopefully be part time student perhaps? I'd love to have a chance to study some theology or just increase my biblical knowledge. The worship leader here is an amazing jazz pianist with a passion for understanding the theology of worship and everything. So I'd definitely want to spend time with that dude if I come back.

You might ask: 'Why do you want to come back?' which is a pretty complicated question actually. My short answer would be that ít's been such an amazing positive, challenging and growing experience that I want more of it. I think I could get so much more out time spent here that I feel as if I have to explore and find out. Mind you I'm still quite openminded and haven't made a solid commitment yet.

Hm what else has been going on.. life's been exciting here! Hm so many stories... there was a crazy flood here in the town of Mittersill. Short version of the story - was in someone's basement, water started flooding the windows like crazy, stranded in the house, rescued by raft by authorities the next day, hilarious pictures of us in the newspaper the day later.. lol). Also did my first 2 day hike, and went to my first 3000+ meter mountain at the same time. Eh those are just neat experiences tho - my time here has been so much more than just those sorts of things. Hard to explain - I don't think I've fully understood what this time has meant for me. All I can seem to say for sure is that this time has been very good for me.. I feel generally a healthier, wholler (err I mean "more whole") person. It's been good. Oh I've also been falling in love with classical piano again.

Yeah... I miss all of you tho, hope to see you all soon. Drop me a line and let me know how you're doing!

Click to continue reading...